remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
