You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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