Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
birth control should be required to get into college
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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