This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
