I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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