suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
