We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
