I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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