I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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