mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
