he wants to bone in the snuggie
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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