Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I forget how to act sober
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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