it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
