I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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