my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
