either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm always down for nudity.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
