I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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