You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
