You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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