I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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