I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
