There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
