If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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