her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
