you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just want to make out with him forever
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
