is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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