am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
