I bet he comes in French.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
No subtext here. People are naked.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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