too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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