I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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