can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
