Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Shame - the story of my life.
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