dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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