Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
