He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
