they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
