She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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