sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
