her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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