Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
