i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
