I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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