My nipple is on Facebook.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
