I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
