Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
