Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
