I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
