How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
