I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
