u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
