Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
