It's like a parade of train wrecks.
if only i could text you this smell
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
