Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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